Not cut out for childbirth.....

Since the last post was getting so long I decided to write a different post about our hospital stay. 

First of all, any person who tells me that having a c-section is the easy way to have a baby, will probably get drop kicked.  Sure, the surgery itself isn't so bad.  But, the emotional and physical recovery afterwards is definitely no fun. 

I remember the day after Aubrey was born I had to get up to shower.  But I really couldn't move.  I never realized you use your abdominal muscles for pretty much everything.  When someone cuts into those muscles, life isn't too easy for a while afterwards.  And, apparently there's a way to get out of bed that makes things easier.  Not one nurse bothered to tell me this until Aubrey was 3 days old.  I guess there was a book in my room from the hospital that tells you how to take care of your baby and yourself.  Didn't know that either until a few days later when I noticed it in the corner of my hospital room.  Ugh. 

The day after she was born I had company.  Lots of it.  I had to get up to go to the bathroom and the nurse was helping me get up.  I started to feel faint and turned as white as a ghost.  So, they kicked everyone out (it was Chris' mom and Grandma and I felt so bad) and I took a nice long nap. 

Later that same day I was alone in my room.  My room was right next to the waiting room.  There was a family waiting for a baby to be born and it was getting close.  The mom was starting to push.  I remember hearing everyone get so excited for this baby coming and they were running down the hallway cheering.  I immediately started crying.  I didn't get to experience any of that.  I didn't get to push my baby out and have her placed on my chest.  I didn't get to hold my baby for over an hour after she was born.  My doctor, who I absolutely love, didn't get to deliver my baby since I had a c-section.  I was so sad because I went through an entire pregnancy with a wonderful doctor and the doctor who delivered Aubrey had no bedside manner and was just plain old.  He delivered one of my brothers for crying out out....time to retire! 

I was running a fever and my blood pressure was high almost the entire time I was in the hospital.  On that Thursday, the doctor came in and told me my hemoglobin was low.  Normal is about 12, and I think he said mine was 9.  If it didn't get better by Friday, I couldn't go home.  Good Lord.   The next day there was no change so not only could I not go home, I had to have a blood transfusion.  Double Ugh. Then a couple hours later the nurse told us that even though I wasn't being discharged Aubrey was because she was healthy.  She wanted us to know that most insurances won't pay for babies staying in the hospital if they are healthy, even though the mom is not.  So, we had no choice but to keep Aubrey in our room that night and take care of her ourselves.  That was fine, but Aubrey literally hadn't eaten because I had no milk yet and nursing wasn't going so well.  So she screamed that night.  For hours.  I finally gave in and gave her a little formula just to get her to sleep. 

Nursing did not go as planned.  My milk never did come in and I tried everything.  Aubrey had an appointment when she was a week old so I asked my doctor about it.  He said it was probably because of the stress on my body with the c-section, fever, high blood pressure and blood transfusion.  He said I could keep trying but if it hadn't come in after a week it probably wouldn't.  He reassured me that Aubrey would be fine.  He even said is oldest child was a formula baby and she is probably the smartest of the three.  That made me feel better. Formula feeding it is then.  At least I didn't have to deal with the drying up part! 

When Aubrey was two weeks old, I sneezed and felt a pop.  Later I noticed my incision from the c-section was open a bit and starting to bleed a little.  Called the OB doctor (the one I don't care for) and he said as long as I wasn't running a fever it was fine.  So I left it.  The next day it was literally dripping blood and was open even more.  I called the doctor again and he told me to come in.  He looked at it for about 10 seconds and said it was normal and sent me on my way.  Wonder how much he charged for that appointment.  Jeez. 

A week later, I noticed there was flesh or something coming out of the incision area.  I called the OB doctor again but luckily he wasn't there.  The on-call doctor agreed to see me so I went in.  He was so nice.  He said this was normal - not common- but nothing to worry about.  He did do a culture of it and put me on antibiotics just in case.  He said it could leak/bleed for a few more weeks.  To this day (Aubrey is almost 6 weeks old) the incision is still open and leaking.  I have been living in yoga pants because any pressure on that area makes it leak more and it ruins my clothes.  I am so sick of feeling like a slob! 

So, there's the story of our hospital stay in a nutshell.  I am slowly forgetting just how horrible I felt afterwards.  Guess it really is true that eventually you forget everything and that is when you want another baby =)